Redneck Vocabulary Words

So I found this amazing sheet of paper on the high school stage at Crosswalk, and I just wanted to share it with all of you! Since I live in the South, I have definitely heard most of these. :) Let me know how you like them!

Far: If he don't turn that stove down, them chickens will catch far.
Bard: Cousin Jesse bard money from me and I ain't seent him since.
Ranch: Go in the back of my truck and get that ranch!
Munts: It's been four munts since I heard from my brother.
All: I'm gonna need me a all change on that truck.
Ahz: I can't see nuthin' out these ahz.
Bawl: You gotta bawl that water fo' you put in the egg.
Own: Turn them lights own.
Nekkid: There he was nekkid as a jaybird.
Hep: "HEP! There's a far!"
Shevuhlay: I got me a new shevuhlay pickup!
Tar: He got him a flat tar!
Uhmurkin: We's uhmurkin, born and raised in the United States of Uhmurka!
Spearmint: Billy Ray doin' some type of spearmint in school.
Clinics: You got any clinincs so I could wipe my nose?
Co-cola: Y'all want some co-cola? It's nice and cold.

Wasn't Expecting That

So I walked into my Old Testament class today and I see my professor sprawled on the floor with the upper half of his body under the large podium.  Apparently, he was messing with the cables trying to get the powerpoint to work.  Needless to say, I had the look of utter confusion as I made my way to my seat....

Crickets

I would really like to know how crickets keep getting in my dorm room. I have seen three throughout the course of the semester. It's too bad I'm no longer at camp. I would give them to Jack for his nature lodge!!